Is it just me?
by cedasucks
Summary: "Is it just me who misses you this much? Am I not in your memories? Am I not in your heart?" Ellis becomes infected and it takes much more than sweet words to tame him, whilst Nick learns how to understand love. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Nick watched alone from within his own little corner of the safe room. His mind wandering through out the murky waters of despair and confusion. Rubbing his eyes to stave off the urge to sleep, he continued to think. A million questions formed themselves upon the tip of his tongue. Being immune meant you could stave off the infection and keep a hold of the humanity that many had lost. But it seemed that immunity also had its limits. And right now, it seemed that Ellis' immunity had broken down.

Feeling a warm hand snake on to his shoulder, the conman didn't need to look for the owner of that hand, he knew from the delicate touch that it was Rochelle. Her mediocre attempts at silently comforting him as they both watched Ellis tug at the chain that kept him confined to the opposite corner of the room. His eyes a blaze with confusion and pure animalistic rage. The once warm southern brown had faded, no longer captivating the conman and the rest of the team. Now, a sickly yellow replaced them. The whites of his eyes greying as the infection continued to spread and consume what sanity was left. Coach had chose to sit alone, his hands locking fingers as he simply watched Ellis in silence.

"He's meant to be immune." Nick finally spoke, draining the emotion out of his words with as much force as he could muster. He didn't want to display any kind of emotion in front of that monster. It wasn't Ellis, it simply wore his face as a mask. No matter how hard it tugged at the conmans wilted heart strings, Nick wasn't going to give in. Or so he continued to tell himself. "He damn well is!" Coach finally spoke, his words shaky but strong. "That boy's been bitten more times than a dog's chew toy." Standing from his place, the older man approached Rochelle and Nick. Faltering faintly to the sound of Ellis's cautious snarl. "He ain't ever turned before, that proves he's immune."

Forcing an eyebrow to raise, Nick simply eyed the older man. "Really? Then I suppose he just tried to kill us as a joke?" He snapped coldly, watching Coach tense up to the truth. "Listen boy, you might be thinking in that head of yours that he was lying. Just because you make a living out of lying through those fixed teeth of yours, doesn't mean you can tar the rest of us folk with the same damned brush."

"Boys! please!" Rochelle burst in to the argument, using either hand to fix itself on to a shoulder of each man. It was obvious to both Nick and Coach that she was at a loss of what to do. Well, "join the damned club" - Nick thought.

Ellis was continuing to pull at the thick chain, his breathing ragged and sharp as he failed to give up. Maybe the concept of giving up was never an option to the infected? It seemed like that was the case as the boy kicked and clawed at the wall, wanting to be free. "When is he going to tire himself out? He's going to hurt himself at this rate.." Rochelle asked in a slight whisper. Glancing up at Coach, she felt one of his large hands envelope over her own, squeasing it gently for reassurance. "Don't you worry, we'll figure something out." He replied softly in his usual fatherly tone.

Nick continued to sit under his dark cloud, the faux rain pitter patting along the spongy surface of his working brain as his green eyes remained fixated upon Ellis. None of them had the heart to kill the boy the moment he began to turn. He knew Coach and Rochelle were too nice and soft hearted to even contemplate pushing a bullet through that hicks skull. But why was Nick also feeling the same way? He had tried to do it, the moment those sickly yellow eyes glowered at him and that gut wrenching scream passed through Ellis's lips. But when it came to pulling the trigger, all of his strength vanished. He had to resort to knocking Ellis unconscious with the butt of his gun so that they could tie him up before the kid killed them all. This was something the conman didn't really understand. Emotions were like rare animals to Nick. They were usually hiding from the world and never seen - or becoming exitinct. He had a lot of practice at lying to people, hell, he was the fucking king of lying. But he was beginning to wonder if the lies he spun were not only ensaring poor saps like Ellis - but also, himself.

All of the times he had insulted the hick, told himself that he didn't care what happened to anyone but himself.. they all seemed like such false words now. And that bothered him. Nick was a intelligent guy, he had no problem in declaring such a thing to the world. But the fact he didn't understand his own current thoughts and feelings was beginning to make him question such intelligence. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Why him..." Rochelle asked herself, causing Nick to break out of his little thought bubble and look up at her from his seat.

"Because life is a bitch." He replied honestly, forcing a shrug to hopefully give off the air of not having any attachment to the boy.

Rochelle shot him a softer look, her tear laced eyes seeing right through his poker face as she offered him a weak pat on the shoulder. Signalling to the conman that she knew exactly what he was up to, but was willing to play along if it kept atleast one of them from crying. Damn, Nick hated when she could read him like some damned book. This was why he didn't like women. They were like some freaky emotion seeking radar. Watching her dab at the corners of her eyes with the hem of her shirt, Nick reached in to his pocket and offered her some gauze to wipe her eyes on. Tissues weren't exactly something he thought of grabbing these days. They weren't exactly good for patching up wounds, so gauze would have to do right now.

"Dont you growl at me son," Coach raised a scolding finger to Ellis as he cautiously approached the boy. Who was now trying to circle him, like some rabid dog needing to survive. Ellis's claws left slight grooves in the concrete as they dragged along the floor, his stature hunched to the point that it was probably painful for him to even move.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nick asked irritably. Finally moving from his place and joining Coach, wanting to pull the man back before Ellis tore him open like a piñata.

"Trying to reason with him, there's got to be some human left in him." Coach replied, shooting Nick a almost pleading look that he had never seen from the older man before. "How can you be so sure of that?"The conman asked, curiousity and hope getting the better of him and his stone embraced heart.

"He's not as disfigured as the rest of them. Look closely Nick, that boys still in there somewhere. We just gotta find him."

Coach was right. Nicks eyes scanned over Ellis repeatedly, taking in each inch of the boys frame and slowly analysing it. Ellis had become a hunter, the scrunched up expression on his face and his animal-like movements were more than enough to tell all three of them that. Not to mention the hurrendous screams that tore through the boys lungs when he had dived at them after waking up leashed to the wall. His eyes were mostly intact, every time Ellis had gone to claw at them in typical hunter fashion as he had began to turn, Nick had stepped too close to the boy, distracting him from the obvious pain that his eyes were bringing him. They were more than likely far too sensitive to the natural daylight during his turning. But now it seemed patience and distraction on the boys part had caused his eyes to grow accustomed to the light of day. It was obvious he didn't enjoy it and his eyesight had become rather poor during the daytime from the way he missed everytime he swiped at the two observing men, but Nick wasn't about to let him mutilate himself.

Ellis didn't have numerous welts springing out of his body like other hunters, but the skin of his elbows had become rough and cracked, blood dried between the cracks like a bad case of eczema. His skin paled and greyed at the joints, a handful of veins unnatturally visable on either arm as warning growls and guttural snarls passed through his lips. He wanted all three of those humans dead, sprawled across the floor with their entrails laid around the room like grotesque sculptures. His anger was enough to make the boys blood boil, his head spnning with murderous intent.

Letting out a fierce scream, Ellis quickly swiped at Nick, taking both the conman and Coach by surprise as the hunters claws snagged on to Nicks suit jacket, pulling him close enough for Ellis to do some real damage.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all of the kind comments! Hopefully this chapter won't disappoint you! ^^

Everything was a temporary blur, his vision was splattered with crimson, his ears rang with the cries of Rochelle and Coach, he couldn't make out what they were saying for a few seconds. It all happened too fast. Their cries were soon over shadowed by the animalistic screech of Ellis. And then it hit him; the pain. Feeling his skin burn, Nick gasped loudly for air, his chest heavy, his clothes sticky and wet as they were painted red. Wanting to spit out a command of stop ( a command that Ellis would more than likely ignore) Nick choked, his arms pinned at the elbow to the floor by the younger boys knee's. Fuck. Ellis was actually hurting him, he was actually trying to kill him. And all Nick could do is look up, his green eyes focused upon Ellis's contorted expression of blind rage and primative blood lust.

"E-Ellis" He choked. But the boy didn't answer to his name, his sickly yellow eyes void of any human recognition. Any sign of the old Ellis.

"Ellis! Sweetie, no!" Rochelle called before gently attempting to pull the hunter from Nick, only to be swatted away with a bloody hand.

Ellis snarled at the woman, temporarily halting his assault upon the conman, eyeing Rochelle up for a moment as if to tell her "you're next."

Nick groaned in pain beneath the boy, bringing the hunters attention back to him. But before Ellis could do more damage, a loud cry temporarily filled the air before being drowned out by the booming crash of a shot gun. The hunter was thrown aside and from Nick, a loud crack smashed through the air as his muscled frame slammed in to the safe house wall. Coach was rooted to the spot, his eyes wide and breathing shaky. A shotgun clenched within his trembling hands.

"Sh-shit." He gasped, a shaky Rochelle rushed to the conmans side with a med kit. Coach's eyes never left Ellis's limp frame.

"You took your fucking time." Nick coughed, holding in a gasp of pain as Rochelle began to asses his wounds.

"H-he was trying to kill you.." she whispered in disbelief.

Ellis... that sweet and innocent boy.. her baby brother. Had just leapt on top of Nick and almost killed him. That wasn't Ellis. That wasn't her friend, the boy who told stories about Keith, made child-like comments about everything... No. Her Ellis wouldn't do that. He'd never intentionally hurt one of them. Feeling the tears well within her eyes once more, she wiped at them with the back of her hand. Come on girl, focus. You have to fix up Nick.

"Well, aren't you quick on the mark." Nick retorted, though unlike Rochelle, he was hiding his own disbelief.

He could understand if Ellis had some resentment for him for all of the hick jokes he pelted at the boy. But the fact the boy had just tried to kill him, was enough to make the conmans blood run cold.

"He didn't hit anything major. The cuts are deep, but I'm sure I can patch you up." Rochelle whispered, almost too quietly for Nick to hear her.

Though he didn't need to as a loud whine of pain passed through his lips. Damn it, he hated antiseptic spray.

"I can't believe it," Coach began, running a hand over his damp head. His tired brown eyes filled with guilt as he set down the shot gun.

"You did what you had to do.. m-maybe it's better this way." Rochelle's words were soft as she rolled bandages over Nicks stomach, her eyes fixated upon her working hands.

It didn't take a genius to see that she was trying to convince herslf and Coach that it was okay. It was okay to shoot Ellis. He wasn't Ellis any more. But Nick, he didn't seem to be able to buy in to that lie. No matter how much he tried to severe any emotion when it came to Ellis, it seemed the sharp blade that made up his willpower, wasn't so damned sharp after all. It was blunt against the strings of his heart, failing to cut away the attachment. Even after this. Turning his head away from Coach and Rochelle as a small conversation was ignited, his half closed eyes scanned over Ellis's silent form. It was almost like a sick party piece, the way the hunters body was hunched and pressed against the cold concrete. His right shoulder caked in blood and ribbons of flesh that made up the shot gun wound. The mechanics blood splattered upon the wall like a bad paint job. Slowly easing himself in to a sitting position, Nick edged closer to Ellis's body. Rochelle and Coach leaving him alone to prepare something to eat for the group.

"Didn't think you'd die like that kid," Nick commented to himself as he stared down at Ellis's body.

At first, the conman thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Ellis's fingers had twitched, then his chest heaved in to life. Watching on, Nick's legs momentarily refused to move as Ellis began to stirr once more. Bringing up his head, Ellis's yellow eyes were once more upon Nick. Though this time, they seemed to have a more unfocused glare, as if he had just woken from a deep sleep.

"Holy fuck! He's still alive!" Almost tripping over thin air, Nick wrenched himself away from the boy.

Rochelle grabbed on to Coach's arm, almost in hope as the three watched on. Ellis let out a faint whine of pain, his eyes casting down on to his shoulder as he examined the wound. Shooting the three survivors a cold glare, the hunter parted his lips to let out a growl. It seemed that pain wasn't so much of an issue to the infected. Yes, they felt it, but it didn't stop them from functioning. Ellis tore at his chains once more, his eyes flickering over the shotgun and then to Coach. "He knows I did it." The older man croaked faintly, his eyes meeting the enraged glare of Ellis. Nick silently watched on as Ellis began the repetitive routine of howling and snarling at them. Tugging at his chains and even trying to gnaw at them now. It seemed all Coach's shot had done was piss him off even more.

"I need to tend to his wound."

It took a few seconds for Nick to register Rochelles words.

"Are you insane? Wait, no, don't answer. I already got my answer the moment you said that you're going to try and patch up the guy who almost killed me." He snapped.

"Nick is right. If you try to patch Ellis up, he's gonna shred you like paper." Coach frowned.

As much as he had learned to take Ellis under his wing and treat him like a son; he couldn't risk letting Rochelle approach the boy. He couldn't lose his baby girl too.

Rochelle pulled back from the men, her delicate arms wrapping around her own waist in attempts to comfort herself.

"He's hurt. He needs us!" Her voice quivered with sorrow and denial, her caramel eyes sparkling with tears once more. It seemed her previous words about Ellis being better off dead were just a crap attempt at lying to herself. Nick had already mentally called her out on that.

Coach didn't have to speak, the moment he embraced Rochelle within his thick arms; she burst in to tears. Her weak sobs and tears sinking in to the cotton fabric of his shirt as he softly hushed her.

Nick found himself watching Ellis, who was still trying to break free. The sound of Rochelle's cries was white noise to the conman, his attention completely upon the struggling boy. Though his movements seemed slurred and messy. His growls dying down as he paced on the spot, unable to place much weight upon his right arm. It was almost like Ellis was some kind of robot, the way he ignored the pain, ignored the blood loss and continued to try and accomplish his goal of breaking free and killing the survivors. His emotionless eyes haunted Nick as the conman approached once more, this time he made sure to stay out of Ellis's reach, his wounds throbbing painfully as a sharp reminder of what Ellis could do if given the chance. Sticking his hands in to his pockets, Nick felt something cool and plastic against his left hand. Grasping on to the object, he pulled out a bottle of pain killers. Tempted to take some, his eyes flickered back to Ellis. Who was intently watching him. And then the idea hit him. A faint smirk of "Nick, you're a genius" passed his lips.

"You guys ever seen that cable channel; animal planet?"

Nick could feel Coach eying him for a moment, possibly asking himself if Nick was going crazy.

"Yeah, why?" Rochelle wiped at her reddened face.

Snorting faintly, Nick shot them both a slightly triumphant look. "I've got an idea."


	3. Chapter 3

Once again, thank you for the kind comments. ^ ^ Here's the next chapter! I felt like the second chapter was too short and maybe a little lacking. So this third chapter hopefully makes up for it.

"Nick, you sure you ain't lost your mind?" Coach panted loudly, hauling a severed leg on to one of the collapsable tables within the safe room. It had been a struggle to bring such a thing back to the safe room. He had been vomited on and even grabbed by a smoker before even picking up the damned leg. And even then, it had taken some convincing by Nick to get Coach to pick it up, as the conman had conviniently picked up pain killers, a med kit and an axe. So he couldn't carry the leg.

"This don't feel right," the elder man complained as Rochelle examined the limb.

Taking a seat beside one of the grocery bags, Coach began to rummage through it in hopes of finding something sweet to calm his nerves and take his mind off the fact he had just walked through a city holding a severed leg like a baseball bat. Whilst he and Nick had been trying to pry the severed leg out from underneath a car, Rochelle had been in one of the near by stores. From the looks of it, she had found quite a few things that would be of some use to them. But no candy. This caused Coach's face to drop in to a childish pout.

"This _is_ pretty gross," Rochelle sighed as she hacked in to the leg with her machete, splinters of bone and specks of blood flicked on to her shirt.

There had been a point in time where she would've vomited at such a nasty and bloody sight. But those were the days where the only thing she had to worry about was paying bills on time. Not having her head ripped off by zombies. Everyone had to adjust at a time like this; that was what humans were apparently good at, right? Could've fooled her.

"Stop complaining. I don't see you two coming up with anything else." Nick snorted, popping open the extra bottle of pills.

Secretly, he couldn't help but agree that this was a step beyond inhumane as he pulled back some of the dead flesh, trying to ignore the slight squleaching sounds as he slipped a countless amount of pills underneath the meaty surface. He had seen zoo keepers do this kind of thing to lions, not that Nick was a avid fan of animals. They were smelly and annoying. But one of his ex wives was a sucker for them.

After all of the shit he had been through, he was sure that slipping a few pills in to some dead guys leg and feeding it to Ellis in attempts to knock him out was going to seem like a pretty normal thing. Running a few fingers through his thick hair, Nick let out a faint and ragged sigh. Hell, who was he trying to kid? Himself? Yeah, he needed more practice when it came to that. The smell of blood had caused Ellis to stir from within his corner of the room. His claws scraped along the concrete floor as his fingers were flexed. A low hum passed through the back of his throat as he eyed the others up, his face tensing in to a unwelcoming sneer. "You hungry El?" Nick asked aloud, turning to look at the boy. Ellis didn't reply, not registering the name that passed through Nicks lips. Instead, his gaze travelled over the uneven chunks of human flesh that sat upon the table. Rochelle hadn't cared for neatness, she just wanted to cut through the leg as quickly as she could before bleaching her hands and staying as far away from the table as the tiny safe room could make possible. Glancing at the hacking work of Rochelle, Nick made a mental note to not piss her off when she's holding a machete.

"Go on Nick, you give it to him." Coach began, gesturing to one of the meaty chunks and their pill filled center.

Nick was about to open his mouth to argue when Rochelle added to the gesture; "It was _your_ idea."

"I hate you two." The conman sneered whilst ignoring their little chuckles.

He hesitated a little before picking up one of the pieces of meat and slinging it towards Ellis. Wincing as it hit the ground with a splat before the boy edged closely to inspect it.

Ellis only took a few moments to look it over before sinking his teeth in to it. His strong jaws crushing the bone as both of his clawed hands grasped on to the chunk like a child eating a sandwich. A grotesque and bloody sandwich. Rochelle looked a way, her stomach was strong, but it wasn't steel clad like Nicks or Coach's. Both of whom were watching Ellis devour the meat.

"That's just nasty." Coach slurred, an eyebrow raised as his eyes remained attached to the boys feeding form.

Waiting until Ellis had finished the first piece, Nick tossed him another. The sound of the boys growls and snarls etched in to the meat as his eyes seemed focused on Nick. Who wouldn't be shocked if Ellis was pretending that the meat was his corpse, considering how he had tore in to the conman prior to this. Rubbing his wounded stomach, Nick quietly urged the boy to become sleepy already. Too many of those damned pain killers could knock out a horse, so Ellis shouldn't be too much of a problem. Heh.. Ellis loved horses. Catching on to himself, Nick frowned for a moment. Why was he even thinking about things like that? Up until now, he had told himself that Ellis was some back water simpleton with the IQ of a rock. And now, now the conman was dwelling on the things that kid claimed to like. What happened to pretending to hate Ellis? he couldn't help but ask himself this as he continued to watch the boy. He never thought he'd see the day where he'd actually _miss_ hearing a Keith story. Nick didn't want to admit that to himself, let alone anyone else.

It wasn't soon after Ellis was half way through the final piece of meat that the hunter began to slow down. His eyes half open as he fought to stay awake. Letting out a weary but confused groan, Ellis dropped the meat from his blood stained lips before he slumped on to the floor, his face pressing against the cold concrete as Nick and the others edged closer. Letting out a warning growl, Ellis tried to push himself back on to all fours, but his arms and legs simply crumbled beneath him once more.

"Sorry kid." Nick mumbled as he watched Ellis's eyes slowly fold shut.

Rochelle had done more than a little shopping whilst they had been hunting for something to feed Ellis. The store she had visited didn't just sell food, it had a pet section too. She had surprised Nick and Coach by pulling out a few chained leashes, a collar and a muzzle. "What the hell did you get a squeaky toy for?" Nick growled as Rochelle pressed her fingers against the rubber made ball, a slightly amused smile upon her lips as it let out a sharp squeak. "I thought it was cute." She replied honestly before setting everything down beside the unconscious Ellis. She pulled up his shirt, trying to hide the slight blush upon her face as she began to clean and tend to Ellis's wound. Nick on the other hand, was slightly impressed with the kids washboard abdomen. Though, he should've guessed that Ellis had a strong build before now. Though he had never really thought of it... much.

It was almost like Ellis's body was magnetic, the way it pulled Nicks eyes in and forced them to look. He wanted to complain to himself about it out of sheer jealousy, but he didn't, he was enjoying the view. Shit. You're old enough to be his dad, Nick. What the fuck are you doing?

Forcing himself to look away, Nick pretended to be interested in whatever Coach was doing; which happened to be cooking. He watched as the larger and older man placed a few slabs of frozen meat on to a home made fire. Humming hymns to himself as he cooked. Probably pretending he was at a barbecue with Nick, Ellis and Rochelle. For a moment, Nick envied Coach for that. To have such a great imagination that could convince him for a few moments that none of this was real. Nick didn't have that luxury. His mind was constantly focused on the hellish reality that they lived in.

"There we go, all cleaned up."

Nick snapped his head towards the direction of Rochelle. Who was pulling down Ellis's shirt.

"Nick, help me put this on Ellis." She added in a soft tone, gently lifting the younger boys head on to her lap before pointing to the muzzle.

It looked like something you'd put on a pitbull, the wire mesh thick and undoubtebly strong, the straps cut out from a thick leather. But would it be strong enough to keep Ellis's razor like teeth away from Nicks nice suit? He toyed with the straps for a moment, uncertanty within his eyes.

"We can't leave him behind." Coach broke in to the awkward silence, causing Rochelle and Nick to look up at him.

Running a hand over his stubble covered chin, the older man let out a weary sigh.

"We can't stay here forever, but we can't just take the chains off him. He'll kill us."

"So we're going to treat him like a rabid dog instead?" Nick asked aloud, his forehead creased as his eyes narrowed dissaprovingly.

"What else can we do? Kill him?"

Nick paused. His lips pursed together as the muscles of his jaw twitched. None of them had the balls to kill Ellis. Even despite the fact Coach had shot him out of sheer panic; it was evident that the older man couldn't raise his shotgun to Ellis for a second time. This was their only option, it seemed.

Unclipping the muzzle, Nick began to fascen the contraption to Ellis's face, the wire mesh now hovering over the boys mouth. Nick had to hurry when it came to fascening on the collar and helping Rochelle chain Ellis's clawed hands together. As the boy had began to stir, a loud gutral growl echoing throughout the air as Ellis's eyes began to peel open once more.

Backing away, Nick and Rochelle watched on as Coach fished the cooked beef on to a plate. Trying to ignore the whines and growls of Ellis as the boy woke. The chains clinking wildly as the hunter noticed their presence. Letting out an angry snarl, Ellis thrashed about wildly upon the floor, attempting to free himself. His strong legs kicking wildly like a child throwing a tantrum before rolling on to his stomach, panting loudly and glaring up at the survivors. Fury evident within this sickly eyes.

The meal they had was eaten in a awkward and stale silence. The only sound passing through the safe room was Ellis's constant growls and sneers as he watched the survivors eat. Nick glanced towards the boy, who was still lay on his stomach. "El, get up." He chewed on his fork. "You look even more stupid lay on the floor like that." The conman added, causing Rochelle to tut in disapproval at Nicks poor choice of words. Ellis simply snarled in reply. Tossing his fork on to the plate out of irritation, Nick climbed from his seat and approached Ellis.

"Coach, give me a hand." He called, the older man eyeing him curiously for a moment before following suit.

Ellis seemed to tremble faintly as he got all the more worked up. His lips dry and cracked as he beared his teeth through the wire of the muzzle. Snapping them angrily as Nick and Coach grabbed a hold of the boys bound arms, lifting him on to his feet. Throwing back his head for a moment, Ellis hissed and growled, his legs like jelly as they wiggled and squirmed beneath him, trying to adjust to the change in posture.

"Damnit Ellis, stand up properly." Nick snapped, his harsh tone causing Ellis to roar in reply and almost throw himself at the conman.

Reaching for one of the leashes, Nick clipped it on to Ellis's collar, tugging on it faintly as Coach let go of the boy. Ellis was hunched over, his legs firmly planted on to the floor, but his poor posture was far from elegant. He swayed for a moment, glaring at Nick. "See, that wasn't too hard sweetie." Rochelle found the courage to speak, offering the infected boy a friendly smile that she hoped might calm him down.

Clawing at the chains, Ellis simply sat down once more. A resigned growl leaving his lips as he closed his eyes. Wanting to ignore all of them.

Nick returned to Rochelle and Coach, finishing off his meal. Tomorrow, they were going to leave the safe room for the last time and progress to the north. With Ellis. He wasn't sure if he was looking forward to that.


End file.
